Being a mom in general isnt the easiest thing but it is the most amazing thing to be a mom. I know that i love my daughter with all my heart and there is not one thing i wouldnt do for her. but there are times when all i want is to be alone be able to think without her yelling in my ear mommy mommy. this is where having the dad there helps out alot. not having that other person to rely on sucks. there is nothing you can do but deal with the stress of it all on your own. there are things that i can not explain and there are things i can. the way i feel sometimes is one of the things i can not explain. there are times when all i want to do is to just leave and never look back but i know i cant do that because i have my daughter. and i know that might sound really harsh but it is the truth. there are times that i have said to myself ugh if only i didnt have a baby but i wouldnt change having her for anything. i say that when she is pushing my buttons and i havent quite figured out how to deal with all of that plus all the other stuff i am going through.
i mean i dont know if there are other single moms out there who have done this but i sometimes will hold my daughter and just cry becuase i love her so much but at times i wish i didnt have her and i feel like such a horrible person when i feel like that. it is all the stress building and building inside me then all of a sudden i wanna just give up but i cant. being a mom is the best gift anyone could get and i am so glad that i am someones momma...
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