Maintaining custody of Kylynn keeps me sain. Life is crazy and the one thing that keeps me sain is being a mommy. Being a single mom with a one and a half year old is not easy and the people who are doing the same thing as i am... raising their child alone know what I mean. Waking up everyday is a blessing in itself but waking up to my daughter's foot in my face because she seems to think the only way to get me up is to kick me in the face is 100 times better.
As a parent single or not you face new challenges with your children everyday. The difference between being a parent with a partner to help and a single parent is the extra support you have of the other parent. As a single mom I can not turn to Kylynn's dad and tell him I need some time to myself to watch Kylynn. I dont like to ask my mom for help because it is not her place her job I should say. She has raised her children and yes she loves to have her grandma time but there are times when I just want to be like I need a minute and I know she cant because she is dealing with her own drama.
I am on the bracelet and on house arrest till October 27th my count down to freedom has begun. It is really hard for me to get away when I need to when I am basically trapped in my own home. So I have tried to learn how to deal with my emotions and stress in different ways. I have started to cook, this seems to take me out of my own head and lets me just be me for a little while. Then of course there is my singing which is my biggest hobby but I dont get to do much anymore.
So when I cook I crank the radio and jam while I cook. Getting used to being a single mom again is hard and the thought that I might never find someone who will not only accept me for all my faults and background and also accept Kylynn scares me. There are plenty of guys who since breaking up with Kylynns dad have said they like me and dont care that i have a child but I just dont think I am ready for all that again. I am not ready to put myself out there to open up that door that could possibly get me hurt again...
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